It takes time to get to know each other. Skilled social workers help with the process in a way that respects the teen.
It can take a lot of time and patience. We waited 4 years for Amy to be ready to commit to adoption - but it was well worth the wait!
So, the short and long answer we ask families to commit even if the teen isn't ready. it can be a long process.
A lot of our viewers were wondering in how much detail they can get to know about someone they are considering adopting.
I believe that once a proposal is made, families will be given all relevant information from the child's MCFD file.
Ok, it is important that families have all the information they need to make a wise and educated decision about adoption.
Some viewers were also wondering if they can foster first and then adopt later.
This information is provided in stages. The stages provide more and more information as families move more and more into the process.
BC does have a foster-to-adopt process.
yes, this can happen in some case. Many teens can be slow to trust a foster placement can be a helpful way to get to know each other.
Is it different from a regular adoption process, Susan?
Again, we ask that families commit up front regardless if or when the teen agrees to adoption.
Often, is is seeing the committment by would-be parents that convinces a teen that this time it is 'for real'.
In some ways yes it is different that the placement of a younger child. A teen is more set in their ways and needs time to make a decision
Thank you, Karen and Susan. Next one is a big question that is on many people's minds when it comes to teen adoptions.
Foster families will already have gone through a process of education and interviewing.
There is no cost for an MCFD adoption. Perhaps a criminal record check fee, and maybe a medical exam fee. That is it.
there are nearly no costs other than what might normally be required to raise a child. The costs are nominal and likely under 100.
After teh adoption, depending on the child, there might be Post Adoption Assistance funds available to the family.
Thank you. Next up -- a question about marital status required to adopt.
We need all kinds of families because we have all kinds of teens, musical teens, athletic teens, funny teens.
Single, two parent, there are no requirements.
yes, single is ok and for some teens may be ideal. Attaching to one parent can be easier than two.
each teen needs one person who is crazy about them and will commit to them whatever comes along
Remember it is all about finding the best family for a particular teen.
Thanks. Next question is about success rates.
yes adoption match sometimes don't work.
When things fall apart it is hard on everyone especially the teen.
Just like having a birth child, there are no guarantees. Education before adoption, and support during all phases of the process are really important. Committment is the key, and taking enough time in the 'courtship' phase.
In some case the courtship phase can be years
Yes, it was 4 years for us with Amy.
To go with this question, here is a comment from Lyle.
it is the relationship that provides the foundation for the teen to grow into a healthy adult.
I know more than a few 20 - 22 year olds who still want to be adopted.
My husband was very concerned about integration when we first met Amy.
We talked it over together, and then with our daughters, who were 10 & 12 at the time. We decided that we could definitely be there as her support system.
is is a common and real concern.
It can upset the family order, feel and culture.
We let her know right from the start that we were willing to adopt her, but that she would be in control of when she felt ready.